Practical Ways to Bring Up Sex

In the car while you are driving.

It is less threatening for our teenagers, we are all looking forward, the music is on, we are occupied with driving, we have alone time, and it might be dark out.

During your favorite show.

There are always "sudden sex scenes" on any show that might help facilitate discussion, such as

"Do you think this really happens? Will the character have any consequence (Physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially, and/or spiritually?) What will his/her heart feel? Who else might their decisions / actions affect?"

Watch MTV for 10 minutes.

MTV is VERY racy and sexual. Most videos have nudity in them or very provocative dancing, lyrics, or poses. Make sure you REALLY know what your teenagers are watching. Have a TV night with them and supervise the content. It does matter.

When there is a pregnancy or an STD at their school.

Most kids will bring this up on their own. This is BIG news for the school. Make sure to discuss the affects that a pregnancy has on the person, the family, the school, and society. As well as what your expectations are for your teenager, and why abstinence is SO important, to avoid that life-changing consequence.

Just like pregnancy, a STD is BIG news, however not everyone might know about it. Make sure to be discrete, to avoid hurting this person even more. But do discuss the implications a STD will have on a person's life, including living with an incurable STD and jeopardizing future relationships.

Look at the ads in their magazines and on TV.

Adult magazines are getting more sexualized all the time (Glamour, Cosmo, Vogue, Maxim for men) Their covers are filled with catchy titles such as "50 Hottest Sex Secrets" or "101 Ways to Drive Your Partner Wild in Bed" or " Top 20 Sex Positions". These magazines are located in our High School libraries, Dr's offices or on our very own coffee tables, and they are very graphic and explicit. Teen magazines try to copy these best selling articles. They tone it down of course usually not placing these titles on the cover, but they still contain a lot of sexual content and advice that you might not agree with.

Unfortunately our teenagers want to be just like the people they see in the ads. A lot of our eating disorders come from the ads we see everyday. They are very sexual and provocative as well. You can use them to teach teenagers how the media uses these pretty faces and bodies (which are airbrushed or touched up) to get us to buy their product for feel popular.

While you are out shopping for clothes.

Many parents and teenagers say they don't agree with today's skimpy fashions, but say there is nothing they can do about it. You can do more then you think, talk to a manager, they will listen.

Before you go to bed: 10-15 minute talk session in bed.

It is important to establish a safe environment and relationship with your teenager.

Establish this 10 minute talk before bed, to discuss anything and everything! Your kids will talk and you can help guide them in their important decision making. The important thing here is to communicate.

After a WAIT training presentation at school or church.

Usually students want to know more about their parent's values and expectations after an abstinence presentation. We tell them to discuss their sexual boundaries with you as well as their commitment to remain abstinent until marriage. It is important that you hold them accountable through the years and help set those healthy dating boundaries and expectations with them as well as the consequences for breaking the rules.

When they are setting goals and expectations for the future.

We know that kids can meet their hopes and dreams easier without a STD, teen pregnancy, emotional heart ache (depression, suicidal thoughts). Compromising their education, family, spiritual and future relationships. When students don't have to go through these consequences, they are much more likely to reach their hopes and dreams and become a healthier adult. (Suicide Article Heritage Foundation).


Conversation Starters

Sex (and Sex Related) questions to Start a Conversation With Your Teen
Conversation Starters