How Far is Too Far

There is a natural progression of physical intimacy in dating relationships. Where one date leaves off, the the next date begins. If boundaries aren’t set, the progression usually leads to sexual intercourse. The boundaries that are set should be clearly communicated within the relationship.

You always want more!

On the first date, Jeff and Amanda were uncomfortable at first, but as the night went on, that changed. During dinner, they looked into each others eyes and were talking a little. As they were leaving the restaurant, Jeff grabbed Amanda’s hand. At the movie, Jeff did the “yawn trick” and Amanda snuggled in a little closer. At the end of the date, Jeff gave Amanda a short good-night kiss. On the next date, one good-night kiss wasn’t good enough. Jeff kissed Amanda continuously for several minutes, which quickly lead to deep French kissing. On the proceeding dates, before Jeff and Amanda new what had happened, they had progressed through the remainder of the Steps of Intimacy and they had sexual intercourse. The relationship began to grow bitter and about two weeks after having sex, Jeff and Amanda broke up. Imaging how they feel now…

What Steps of intimacy should be reserved for marriage?

Things to keep in mind

  • The steps are progressive – where one date ends the next date begins
  • The farther you progress through the steps, the more “heated” it becomes and the harder it is to stop.
  • The farther someone goes physically, the more one becomes emotionally bonded to the other person. It is harder to heal after the breakup when you are physically and emotionally bonded to the other person.
  • Most likely, you don’t know who your future spouse is and they are out there somewhere dating other people – Where would you want your future husband or wife to draw the boundary line?
  • Don’t rush the steps of intimacy and miss the thrill each one offers! Mouths getting dry and hands getting wet, as well as hearts beating fast are all part of the magic of falling in love and they are not to be missed. Enjoy each step.
  • Move slowly. Draw your boundary, be firm, and reserve sexual activity for marriage.
  • Remember that there are tons of healthy ways to five and receive affection without putting yourself at risk for STD’s, pregnancy and /or the negative emotional or social effects of premarital sex.